Aug.15

Faith

My dear Constant Reader,

I want to share a reminder on the power of faith.  And before you turn away, I am not speaking of a religious faith. 

The faith I am speaking of is the faith you have in yourself and the goals and dreams you are pursuing.  The fire that pushs you past your deepest reservations, past your comfort levels, past any fears.  We, wondrous human beings that we are, have the ability to leap into the unknown on nothing but faith and a desire to pursue…create…live a life greater than our present one.

But let’s be clear, many speak of this type of faith, but few have it.  The brags and boosts of social media are just that.  All the Instagram posts on “staying on your grind” and “getting your hustle up” mean nothing without the actions behind it.  Real faith in yourself, your dream, your passion, is what kicks late on a Tuesday night.  After you worked a 10 hours shift at your “9 to 5”, after you’ve gotten your kid to bed and cleaned the kitchen, gotten through your to do lists.  Its that moment when you have the choice to go to sleep or push past and sit down to write…paint…study.  It’s faith that holds strong under the boogie men of self doubt which will undoubtedly kick in at these  moments of exhaustion at days end.

I’m too old for this…

I don’t know what im doing…

I’m not good enough…

I’m not smart enough…

Who the hell cares what I say…do…think…write…

Real faith in yourself will see you through that night and the next and the next. 

No one else maybe believe that I can or should but I do.  I believe.  I push past.  I can do this.
I push past.

I’m afraid but I still believe.

I push past.

I have faith.  Deep to the core, reverent faith, in myself.  I belive in me.

Keep the faith.

V-

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Mar.01

Limits

My Dear Constant Reader,

This year is already ticking by faster than I would like.  Each day seems shorter and shorter with more and more to get done.  I see my to do list stretching boundless before me.  Even as I mark one thing off, 2 more things are added. 

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Last night at dinner I told my husband life would be so much easier if I just didn’t need sleep and worked 24 hours a day.   Of course I was joking…

Kinda…

But seriously I would get so much done. 

Just imagine…with an endless amount of time I would get everything on my to do list done.  Then I would start the new projects that I’ve pushed off for lack of time and energy. 

Even as I write this I feel the octopus in me on the rise at the possibilities.  But I also know from experience pushing that hard just doesn’t work for me.  I have tried the 3-4 hours of sleep, constant motion, pushing past exhaustion type of grind.  The result was I hit the wall harder than I care to remember.  Harder still was the effort it took to pull myself up and get back into the groove after the fact.

I have learned that as much as I want to say yes, sometimes I just have to say no.  If I keep on my grind, the opportunities and projects will continue to present themselves.  And when they do, I will be ready and able to give my best work and self to the opportunity knowing it is the right time.

So my dear friend, my advice as we stand at the begining of a new month is…

Don’t half ass a project now just to say you did it when you could’ve done with greater success if you waited until you and your schedule could commit fully to it. 

Know your limits so you can maximize your strengths. 

V-

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Feb.16

The Space Between

Last night I sat down to start writing this post just as the red carpet coverage for the Grammy’s began.  I watched as various artists were asked who they were excited to meet and see perform.  It was so wonderful to see so many become a giddy fan as they noted their must see list.  They had that glint in their eyes of pure magic and wonder, of the immense joy as they were able to reap the benefits of all their hard work.

In that moment I was reminded that, yes, for so many of us working at our craft, day in and day out, it would be amazing to have one of those experiences.  To be able to be recognized as the artist we know in our hearts we are, even if 99.9% of the world doesn’t.  But that experience will never become a reality without the journey and work behind it.  If I want that moment I have to keep going, keep working every day.  There are some artists that reach that point early in their lives.  Then there are those who have to travel the path much longer before they get there.  They are the ones I look to for inspiration.

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I know there are people who shake their heads as they see me working my 9-5  but yet still determined to one day be able to make a living as a writer one day.

You have a good job, you can support your family.  Why are you still chasing the same dream you had at 19?  Its been 20 years…let it go.

I can’t.  
I won’t.  
For me it is because this is not just a dream.  A dream you wake up from.  A dream ends.  This I will never give up on.  Yes, I may faulter.  Yes, I may have moments where the I allowed the doubts to cloud my way. But I know this is who I am and what I am meant to be. 

I am a writer.

This great big world just hasn’t been introduced to what I can do yet.  But it will.

V-

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Feb.01

All good now?

This my friends, is my first blog post of the new year.  A little late you say.  Yeah…I know.  But in all honesty I was a little busy.  While most writers posting blogs, not just once but multiple times in January, I was still trying to pull my shit together from a rough 2015.

All good now…ready to kill it in 2016 you ask?

Ummm…working on the all good part.  But 100% ready to take 2016 to the next level. 

While my reponses may not be as balanced as I would like, I am still optimistic.  Even as I am still recovering from the smack down that was 2015, I have to believe the new year will be better.  To think otherwise would be to feed into defeat before I have even begun.  

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They say you have to believe even when the road ahead is unclear, walk by faith not by sight.  It is with this mindset that I will keep pushing on.  My progress maybe slow at first, but I will still be a step closer to my goals than I was the day before. 

So with out further ado I will leave you. It’s time to get to work and greatness awaits.

V –

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Feb.14

A Love Letter

Beloved…

How do I describe this feeling?

It moves through me

Rippling from my heart

Flooding my body

Overwhelmed

Heart in hand

I stand before you

 Externamente…You are mine

 This tether at my side

Flesh of my flesh

Bone of my bone

Do you know?

Even after all these years

How the warmth of your skin

Pressed against mine

Leaves me speechless

 Beloved…

 The feel of your lips

Pressed against mine

Sweet and decadent

Leaves me breathless

Desperate for more

Love me as I love you

All that I am

I lay before you

 Eternamente… I am yours

Please check out these other fabulous writers who are also blogging for Valentine’s Day

Visit them and find out just how different we are and yet how similar. They are:

Del Carmen writes hot, kinky, satisfying erotica.  Visit her at www.mydelcarmen.com

Also writing as Maria Ferrer at

http://marializaferrer.blogspot.com/2015/02/blog-tour-writers-desk.html

Mercedes Cruz writes fun and kinky erotica based on characters living in New York City. Visit her at www.mercedescruz.

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Aug.16

In Pursuit of a Latin Romance…

One of my very first experiences with stories of romance was through the Spanish soap operas called Novelas. Night after night, I would see my grandmother sit in front of the TV, enthralled by episodes of desire, heartache, loss and redemption.

These tales of beautiful women and the über masculine men who loved them, held a draw like no other. They built within me an image of an ideal romance in which the heroine is swept up by a dark and muscular man whose passionate words and fiery kisses would leave her breathless.

For me, growing up in a bilingual household, I have always lived in between both the Spanish and English language. But for me the language of romance has always been in Spanish. I would return to those first images of the smoldering embraces where he whispers endearments, calling his love, “Mi cielo,” my heaven, or professes his undying love as he calls her, “Mi vida,” my life.   But the one that still gets me every time is, “Mi tesoro,” my treasure, spoken with a roll of the tongue.

Those novelas shaped my internal vision of romance. As I got older and discovered the wonderful and amazing stories within romance novels, I looked for stories that reflected my ideal romance. I still longed to become drawn into stories laced with those Spanish endearments. I wanted the heroines to look like the women I grew up with. I wanted heroes with dark features and bronzed skin. Those stories, however, have been rather elusive.

In my quest for stories of Latin romance, I in turn discovered my own passion as a writer. I write stories with heroines that look and speak as I do. And of course with heroes that rumble deep throated words of romance in Spanish. I fill my pages with my ideal romance, stories with touch of Latin passion in them.

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