“You are going to need to grow an extra brain and arms. You wanna be an octopus.”
That was the advice my husband gave to me recently as I relayed my frustrations over trying to figure out a game plan to get more done within a day…week…month. I was so serious and intent in my angst that his response took me completely off guard. His beguiling West Indian tone and deadpan delivery had me laughing for at least 10 minutes.
But in all seriousness, his comment does beg the question that many of us who are in the throes of trying to build our dreams into a reality are faced with…Am I trying to accomplish more than is humanly possible?
I seem to constantly grapple with the question of whether my overreaching and overzealous ambition has become the equivalent of a subversive self-sabotage.
The truth that always sets my mind at ease is remembering that this is all part of the journey. Frustration comes when my desire and drive are moving faster than everyday life. The struggling and fighting for my dream is all part of what comes with creating a life where I am able to live out my passions every day. This is about commitment and my commitment to myself can never be wrong.
My ambitious nature, which I held silent for so long, has now surged forward. With each accomplishment the list of things that I want to undertake continues to grow. Each goal surpassed sets my eyes to the horizon for greater and grander peaks to reach.
At the beginning of last year my only goal when it came to art (because I did make a list) was:
By Summer 2013: Have a completed a painting and/or drawing
After not painting for 7 years that was a big hurdle to cross. I was not even sure I knew how to paint anymore. But once I started again and rediscovered my passion, I not only completed a painting but I exhibited in 6 different galleries and venues within the course of the year. Tooting my own horn…your damn right I am.
My passion, ambition and drive got me there. And I’m sure there were times over the course of last year when I may have seemed like an octopus. But as I write this I stand confidently in knowing this is the truest version of who I am. Not having multiple wheels rolling at once makes me anxious. If I know there is more that I could and should be doing and instead I find myself sitting on the couch watching TV…that is the self sabotage. It may seem like too much to some and over the top to others, but I can’t and don’t want to change. This is me.
So for now the octopus lives on….I’ll let you know when I finish growing that extra brain.