Nov.01

At the Core of it All

As I shared a few weeks ago, 2015 has not necessarily been the best for me.  I have had ups and downs with trying to keep to task.  I have tried, God only knows how many ways, to get this train of mine back on track.  To say it has been a stuggle is an understatement.

I started on this path of self discovery and reinvention at the tail end of 2012.  I rushed forward with a passion and an excitement that could not be sated as I reconnected to my love of writing and painting.  

This in turn lead me to start seriously pursuing my dreams, my goals with the hope of one day making them my career.  I met people, began networking and the advice started flowing.  As did  the deadlines and time frames started  shortening.  And then it became…
Have you submitted here…
Have you tried writing this…
You need to get this done…connect to this…sign up for that…

And for me the pressure built making it, less about the work itself and more about all the extras.  Suddenly fitting in  all the extras in began to overtake everything else.

The art and writing I reconnected to…that I loved, became swallowed by the burden of taking my self to the next level.  It had stretched me thin and the fun and excitement was gone. 

It was in this mindset, numbed out and fried, that I sat watching TV with my husband.  We began watching a T.D. Jakes sermon, where he spoke about transformation and getting back to the core of who you are meant to be.  Mr. Jakes noted that to get to your core,  “You can either cut to get at it or rot to it.”  Hearing those words was like having a film lifted off my eyes and suddenly being able to see clearly again.

image

I was allowing all the other stuff, the extra noise, to rot around the core of what I was meant to be doing.  It was killing my inspiration, my drive, my passion. 

On this path to making a dream a career I have to continue to refocus and realign to the heart of it all.  I love being a storyteller, whether it is in the form of paint on canvas or words on the page.  That is what comes first and foremost.  It is the core of what and who I am.

I share this for anyone who has had a year like mine.  Remember the reason why you started.  Hold to that and you will find your way.

Self Discovery,Challenges,Motivation,Writing,Quotes,On Writing,Art,Artist

Feb.11

A Writer’s Desk

Any writer can tell you their desk is truly wherever they have a pen and paper…or smart phone or tablet…in hand.  I personally always have a small notebook and pen with me.  Old school habit I guess.   I generally only use my phone in a pinch.

But, when I am home, I have my desk.  There my laptop always sits, readily waiting.

I live in New York.   Brooklyn to be exact, and as you might guess, my space is shall we say…limited.    There is no separate office space.  No room in which I can close the door and be one with my writing.  That is unless I want to lock myself in the bathroom with my laptop…which I don’t.   So, instead I have a corner in my living room which I have made into my own mini writer’s den.  There I have my desk and it is stocked with all the things I love.

Books are all around me… on my desk …under it…in a bookcase off to my left.  I have pencil cups stocked full of pens.  Though I only write with a select few.  Papers and folders and dictionaries…oh my!

And, just for good measure a painted Day of the Dead skull that I lovingly call La Loca, who keeps me company when I write late into the night.

As as painter, I also always feel more inspired when surrounded by images and things that inspire me.  So, I have paintings, sculptures and posters all around that motivate and drive me.  On my walls I have paintings done by my father which he completed as a young man.  Mixed in with those are my own paintings and drawings done by my son.  As well as a poster of one of my favorite paintings by Frida Kahlo.

This little corner is my haven where I dream up stories of love and romance.  I have taken special care in choosing what is there.  Maybe one day I will have a great library and office.  But for now I am happy to type way in my small corner in Brooklyn.

That was just a bit about my writer’s desk. Please check out these other fabulous writers who are also blogging about their writing spaces today, Wednesday, February 11.

Visit them and find out just how different we are and yet how similar. They are:

Del Carmen writes hot, kinky, satisfying erotica.  Visit her at www.mydelcarmen.com

Also writing as Maria Ferrer at

http://marializaferrer.blogspot.com/2015/02/blog-tour-writers-desk.html

Mercedes Cruz writes fun and kinky erotica based on characters living in New York City. Visit her at www.mercedescruz.

Motivation,Writing,On Writing,Art,Artist,Latinas Write Romance

Sep.01

The Journey

I was recently asked two very distinct questions which, once I answered them, gave me a bit of perspective on myself. The first question asked of me was, “What are you thankful for?”

That’s such a loaded question. The possibilities can be infinite. I could say family, friends, my health, the list could go on and on. But after a moment of thinking of all of these things, I responded that I was thankful for my renewed sense of self.

It has taken me almost 2 years of work to get to my current point in my life, both personally and professionally. However, even with that being said I know I will continue to evolve. What I knew of myself this time last year is not what I know of myself today, and I am grateful to know and accept the difference.

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You’re on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who’ll decide where to go. -Dr. Seuss
The second question asked of me was, “Describe how you came to be the artist you are today.” Or more simply put, “Who are you as an artist?” Again, a question with boundless possibilities for a response. My response was, I am a woman trying to discover herself with my paintings as the medium. I started painting again because I wanted to stop hating my body and my own self-image. It was a means to fall in love with myself. My journey to reach those goals has led me to find a level of work in myself that I didn’t even know I was capable of. But again, my vision and passion as an artist will still continue to grow and evolve with time and experience.

So what is the perspective I gained…it is to not be so worried about the fine lines others may at times ask you to use to define who you are, or what you do. I am many things…mother, wife, artist, writer…none of which can be made to fit a single mold. I can define and re-define what those words mean to me a thousand times over and still not be done. I am a work in progress and my journey has only just begun.

Self Discovery,Challenges,Motivation,Quotes,Art,Artist